Buzz Price

Vendor	Item	Per Can Cost	Buzz Price	Annual
Maverik	18 Can Natty Light or Equivalent	$ 0.56	$ 2.80	$ 1,022.00
Maverik	12 Can Natty Light or Equivalent	$ 0.58	$ 2.90	$ 1,058.50
Maverik	30 Can Natty Light or Equivalent	$ 0.60	$ 3.00	$ 1,095.00
Maverik	12 Can Beast	$ 0.62	$ 3.10	$ 1,131.50
TA	12 Can Beast	$ 0.67	$ 3.35	$ 1,222.75
Maverik	30 Can Budweiser or Equivalent	$ 0.67	$ 3.35	$ 1,222.75
Maverik	18 Can Budweiser or Equivalent	$ 0.72	$ 3.60	$ 1,314.00
Maverik	12 Can Budweiser or Equivalent	$ 0.75	$ 3.75	$ 1,368.75
TA	12 Can Keystone Light	$ 0.86	$ 4.30	$ 1,569.50
TA	12 Can Coors Light	$ 1.13	$ 5.65	$ 2,062.25
TA	12 Can Budweiser or Equivalent	$ 1.16	$ 5.80	$ 2,117.00

In the past few posts we've presented a fair amount of data from our trash collection experiments in the Parowan Valley.  At this point, we are prepared to hazard a couple of tentative conclusions.  As we mentioned in the prologue these conclusions may reveal things about personal behavior.  We realize that our reader may disagree or disapprove.  At the risk of alienating our already tiny audience, we are going to go ahead and highlight two points.  The first, what we call the Buzz Price, will be discussed here.  The second, which is our speculation about the reasons for beer can tossing, will come in a subsequent post.

Without further comment, let's jump right in to an interesting topic.  Why do people drink alcoholic beverages?  Clearly, there are numerous reasons, including taste, status, peer pressure, etc.  But, the number one reason has got to be the effect.  Can anyone seriously disagree?  People drink alcohol for the buzz.  If that is true, which we think it is, why is so much 3.2% beer consumed in Utah?  If you want a buzz, there is more buzz per mouthful in a glass of wine or a shot of whiskey.  Thinking about this question lead us to come up with a measure of buzz per buck—the buzz price.  Is it cost effective to look for buzz in 3.2% beer?  If not, why not?

We start with a couple assumptions.  First, the average person will be buzzed from three drinks.  While we understand that to get a large person really hopped up might take six or eight, we're going to stick with three.  This is partly due to a lot of personal experience, but also because it seems to be the standard for bartenders and regulators.  Three drinks is generally understood to equal 1.8 ounces of alcohol (.6 ounces per drink).  In Utah, where convenience store beer cannot contain more than 3.2% alcohol, it takes five drinks, or five cans of beer to reach 1.8 ounces of alcohol.  (The number is actually 4.7 cans, but we rounded up.)  We're not going to show all our math, but you can quickly see that it becomes a straightforward calculation.  Convenience store beer buzz prices are ranked above.  (Natty Light equivalents are Keystone Light, Busch Light, and Busch.  The annual cost is for 365 daily buzzes.)

To get your buzz on for under three dollars a day seems like a pretty good deal.  But there might be a couple of other things to consider.  First, what is the cost of your other options?  And, second, what does it do to your waist line?  The answer to the first question is that you can do better elsewhere.  You can, in fact, drink wine—not plonk—for about the price of Natty Light and for far less than Budweiser.  I don't mind the red wines sold in the BOTA box—malbec, zinfandel, shiraz.  Like I say, they're not for real wine people probably, but they are at least one cut better than plonk.  (For plonk, you could certainly pay less.)  But let's stop fooling around.  If you want the best buzz price you should be looking at hard liquor in a shampoo bottle.  Go to the state liquor agency.  Go to the back.  Go to the bottom shelf.  And take the plastic bottle.  The label doesn't matter.  Whatever is in it will make you gag.  (Or so I have heard.)  But you will be paying something less than a dollar for your buzz.  So, what about the answer to the second question?  How many wasted calories are being consumed in pursuit of the buzz.  I suspect that my reader may have guessed the outcome.  Light beer is something of an improvement, but you're clearly going to minimize the beer gut if you switch to vodka.

Vendor	Item	Buzz Price	Annual	Buzz Calories
Liquor Store	Plastic Bottle of Popov Vodka	$           0.91	$                332.15	291
Maverik	18 Can Natty Light or Equivalent	$           2.80	$            1,022.00	475
Liquor Store	4 Bottle BOTA Box of Wine	$           2.82	$            1,029.41	366
TA	12 Can Budweiser or Equivalent	$           5.80	$            2,117.00	725

 

If you can spend less and consume fewer wasted calories by drinking wine or spirits, why would you drink convenience store beer?  Maybe beer drinkers truly prefer beer?  I mean, I can understand that.  I am very fond of brown ale.  A Newcastle or a Moose Drool will keep me coming back (up to three times).  But we're talking about tasteless, over-carbonated, ah, stuff.  Is anyone really drinking it because they like it?  OK.  I'll admit rotgut liquor is hard to like, too.  Or so I've heard.  Be we suspect that there might be something else going on, and will post about it shortly.